From Another Mother: Our World Fell Apart, What Now?
Updated: Oct 5
A note from Nathan’s Mom
One of the most meaningful parts of sharing my story has been the conversations it has opened up, and the stories people have trusted me with in return.
I connected with Teresa Aires on LinkedIn when she posted about loving and losing her twins, Rainy (who died at around 8 weeks) and Winnie (who was born still at 6 months). With her mother, Margarida Silveira Rodrigues (a psychologist), she wrote about her experience, saying, "We never thought we'd write a book we wished no one would ever need to read."
Below are Teresa's words about the guidebook, and the links to access it in full:
Paperback version can be found on Amazon (Amazon Canada link shared here).
The day we found out our daughter Winnie was dying, I was invaded by an all-consuming feeling of powerlessness. That day, my whole world was taken from me because of a random event no doctor or parent could prevent. Life can be that cruel.
I felt small, hopeless, and sentenced to a version of life I’d never choose. Then, little by little, after talking to countless professionals, reading anything I could get my hands on, and doing a ridiculous amount of thinking, we started making the process our own. We made small choices that mattered to us: I chose to hold Winnie, we held a funeral for both babies, I sewed her name on a blanket, we decided to take pictures. These are a few of the choices that allowed me to live this process with an insurmountable amount of love and, eventually, peace. But they were hard to make because information was hard to find.
We also saw friends and family struggle to say “the right thing” and some even distancing themselves to avoid hurting us (which hurt even more). As a society, we avoid experiencing and talking about suffering at all costs. Yet that increases suffering because it makes us less informed about what helps and what doesn’t.
That’s why my mom and I wrote the guide we needed when our world fell apart. The book is split into two parts.
One is for parents, walking through the decisions no one prepares you for: whether to hold your baby, how to manage pain during birth, what to do about a funeral, what to say when people say the wrong thing, how to return to work.
The other is for the people who love you, the ones who want to show up and don't know how.
Neither part tells you what to do. Each one tells you what to consider, and closes with real questions to help you find what's right for you.
If this book is in your hands, we are deeply sorry. We wish it wasn't true for you either.
But we're here. Let us walk with you.
Read the full book with perspective from both Mom Teresa and Grandma Margarida.
The paperback can be purchased from Amazon.
