calm-hearted
REMEMBERING FORWARD
THE MEANING BEHIND THE PLATFORM
calm-hearted
calm · heart · ed (adjective)
On good grief days, when my loved ones asked how I was doing, I would often reply with the word "calm".
This felt like an honest description of the quieter moments that were beginning to settle in and the ebb and flow of grief. Those moments contrasted with the shattered, heart-rending pain of the early days.
Adding -hearted turned calm from a passing feeling into a way of being. For me, being calm-hearted means slowly making room for moments of peace and comfort as grief gradually softens.
The hyphen is intentional too, although some platforms may require the name to appear as calmhearted. On this platform, and wherever punctuation is permitted, Calm-hearted recalls the line placed between two dates to mark the birth and death of someone we love. In a way that is reminiscent of Linda Ellis’s poem “The Dash,” the hyphen helps me reflect on how we honour our babies, carry them with us, and appreciate the preciousness of life.
Hi, I'm Jessica Gutierrez Schwartz
My son, Nathan George Schwartz, made me a Mom, and it is my favourite and most meaningful title. Before Calm-hearted, I spent years with professional titles that reflected work helping people learn, communicate, navigate change, and make sense of complex systems. Those experiences have helped me find my way through life after Nathan’s death, and it is an honour to use them to support others through their own losses.
I write so others feel recognized
I resisted the words bereaved mom because they described a life I never wanted. In the early days, I searched for stories that reflected the shock and heartbreak I was living through. I was not looking for mentor relationships at that point; I needed someone who could accompany me in real time and understand the weight of what had happened. Calm-hearted offers that connection through honest words, gentle support, and advocacy for bereaved parents navigating workplaces and other systems.
I share our story with purpose
Writing about our experience is one way I pay tribute to Nathan’s life. It also helps draw attention to how deeply this kind of loss can change a life and how bereaved parents can feel unseen, underserved, or poorly supported. Calm-hearted offers a personal voice alongside existing pregnancy and infant loss charities, counselling, medical care, and other resources.
I help workplaces show up with care
Returning to work can mean grieving while navigating people, policies, and communication in workplaces that were never prepared for this kind of loss. Through Calm-hearted, I offer guidance, training, and liaison support to help workplaces respond with greater understanding and centre the needs of the person who is grieving.
The lens I write from
When I am calm-hearted, I can recognize the person I was before and the strength in who I have become, irreversibly changed for the better as a Mom. I can be fully myself: direct, reflective, always genuine, and willing to use what I have lived through to advocate, bring awareness, and help others feel less alone. My writing is honest, raw, and sometimes includes dark humour. It is also shaped by my own experiences, privileges, and limits; some of these are named below.
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My Experience
My loss was an early neonatal death, so Calm-hearted may resonate most with people whose experiences include TFMR, later pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal loss, or infant loss. Infertility and early miscarriage may not be as central on this platform, though I try to make my writing meaningful for anyone navigating pregnancy or infant loss and this unique type of grief and bereavement.
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My Context
My writing comes from the context of being able-bodied, married, in a heterosexual relationship, close with my family, and having the practical support and flexibility to respond to my grief in ways it felt right for me. These circumstances have given me resources and choices. I recognize that no two experiences are the same and that each is shaped by a person’s circumstances and access to support.
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My Beliefs
My spirituality is connected to my Catholic upbringing. Believing that my baby is at peace has helped me make room for the love that remains alongside my grief. These beliefs shape some of my writing and reflection, but they are never presented as the only way to understand grief or connection. Calm-hearted is meant for those with spirituality, hope, resilience, doubt, anger, uncertainty, and no faith at all.
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My Process
The ideas and perspective shared through Calm-hearted come from me.
I use AI to explore design concepts, sort through drafts, and consider how to express myself clearly. My narrative writing is meant to offer relatable experiences for people navigating loss, rather than repeat general information, lists, or how-tos available elsewhere.
I make the final decisions with care and intention, and credit other people’s work when it has informed my own.
In honour of Nathan
Calm-hearted exists because of my son, Nathan George Schwartz. Truthfully, I wish this didn't have to exist. I wish Nathan was here earthside with us. But here we are. This is one of the ways I continue to love Nathan and honour his life.
My husband, Jordan, and I were overjoyed when I became pregnant. I was fortunate to have a straightforward pregnancy with mild, by-the-book symptoms. We happily tracked each week by the alleged fruit size the baby was growing to be and were excited to meet our first child.
After PPROM and an emergency c-section, our son, Nathan George Schwartz, was born at 31 weeks at 3:14 pm on April 11th, 2026.
Jordan and I got to meet him, hold him, and introduce him to a few members of our family in the NICU. Nothing could have prepared us for the immediate, overflowing love that we felt for our tall, strong, fluffy-haired boy. Unknown to us, our son was born fighting an infection, which was likely the reason he came to us too soon. Nathan died on April 14th at 3:55 pm, privately and peacefully, held by Jordan and me.
In my heartbreak, I have been writing to process my pain and immersed myself into the pregnancy and infant loss awareness and advocacy space. With our note to update our close people that Nathan had died, I wrote to our village so they could understand know how to support us. With my return to work, I wrote to my colleagues and customers so that I could share what happened in my own words and set clear expectations around the privacy, communication, and support that I needed. With Calm-hearted, I write for people who might recognize part of their own grief in mine. I also write for people without lived experience who may have the opportunity to respond to someone else's loss with utmost care. That might mean helping a friend to find comforting words, providing examples so that a workplace can recognize where its communication or support processes may cause further harm, or drawing attention to systems and practices that could better meet the needs of bereaved parents.
Sharing Nathan’s story is one of the ways I continue to love and remember him. Thank you for being here and for knowing a little more about our baby boy.
A POINT OF CONNECTION
Here for you.
In the first days and weeks after Nathan died, I found myself wanting to tell our story and connect with someone who could relate. When I found a pregnancy and infant loss organization that felt comfortable for me to contact, I reached out and began by sharing what had happened to Nathan and me. I did not know exactly what I needed or what I was asking for, but I wanted to connect with someone who could understand my devastation. I did not want to wait a long time to be paired with another bereaved mom, and I was not sure whether I wanted an ongoing relationship or to speak with someone who was years ahead of me in their grief. The only thing that felt clear was that I wanted connection while grieving my baby.
That experience shapes how I want to connect with others through Calm-hearted. You know some of my story now, and I am here to receive yours. You might want to tell me about your baby, ask where to begin, find language to support someone you love, or explore thoughtful support with workplace logistics and communication. You may not have a polished question or a clear idea of what you need. Reach out anyway. I will read what you send and honour the courage it takes to share your story.
Sending you a big hug,
Jess