<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Calm-hearted]]></title><description><![CDATA[Calm-hearted]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/writing</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2026 20:35:57 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.calmhearted.ca/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Admin after Baby Loss]]></title><description><![CDATA[The administrative work that follows a death is a well-known part of grief. I understood that conceptually after watching my parents navigate the sudden deaths of siblings and support their own parents. Even when arrangements have been discussed in advance, it is jarring to watch grief turn almost immediately into forms, phone calls, and decisions. And the death of a baby is not supposed to happen. The administration after baby loss is already an unimaginable and difficult feat when you have...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/admin-after-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7344f05d7bc426a54a3365</guid><pubDate>Tue, 04 Aug 2026 07:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_e020a76dde444f81a3ea4ac6021d74a5~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Being Home]]></title><description><![CDATA[Coming home from the hospital after our son died was a fractured scene.  There were new maternity clothes strewn across the dining room table. New tops, pjs, and leggings still had their tags because they had just arrived; I had purchased them to get me through the next two months of pregnancy because of the changing weather and my changing waistband. The couch held crumpled sheets from the night before. We had just set up an assembly line of pumping parts so that I could get into a nighttime...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/home-after-pregnancy-infant-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e81553e0c16484ff6e005</guid><pubDate>Tue, 28 Jul 2026 23:30:57 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_d9e5d33de30a402fa325ac47b2bd13e8~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Coming Home After Loss]]></title><description><![CDATA[After my water broke in the middle of the night and we hurried to the hospital, I remember thinking that the next time we came home, we would officially be parents. Nathan was born on a Saturday afternoon and I was discharged from the hospital after my C-section on Monday. When Jordan and I got home, we covered the couch in sheets and made a game plan for my first night at home. I was exhausted and exhilarated. We were NICU parents in action, ready for the long haul with Nathan at the...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/coming-home-after-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e84412aa0dd3fa1661c6d</guid><pubDate>Tue, 21 Jul 2026 23:45:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_6abd9e61c8694bd09568b2efe3cb8c94~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Communicating Baby Loss]]></title><description><![CDATA[In our first session after his funeral, our grief counsellor asked us to think through the decisions we had made for Nathan as his parents up to that point. That wording stuck with me. We’re his parents, but the decisions we’ve had to make for him are not the ones we thought we would be making. Most of our decisions for our son have literally been about life and death. When Nathan was born, my sister-in-law suggested that we ask one of our best friends to be our designated update person. We...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/communicating-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e85262aa0dd3fa1661eb3</guid><pubDate>Tue, 14 Jul 2026 23:46:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_4e51535776795652494a6b~mv2_d_5472_3648_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Friendships after Loss]]></title><description><![CDATA[My loss has changed me, and it has changed my friendships. Before my son died, I knew that my friends cared about me. Afterward, I learned which friendships could also comfort me, make room for my grief, and continue changing with me. I became more aware of the roles my friends play in my life and the different ways they were able to support me. More than shared experiences or perfect words, I think it comes down to having good people around me. The friends who have been most comforting have...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/friendships-after-pregnancy-infant-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e87d62aa0dd3fa1662545</guid><pubDate>Tue, 07 Jul 2026 23:58:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_a9a65ad8d39f4eb8b4540a4f75f2e127~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[From a Friend's Perspective]]></title><description><![CDATA[A note from Nathan’s Mom Some of my friendships have deepened and become even more precious to me through this difficult time of grieving Nathan. I am so grateful that one of those friends chose to share her thoughtful perspective with Calm-hearted. The words that follow are hers. My friends lost their son only days after they had welcomed his arrival. Nathan was small, but he was mighty, and he wanted to be here, earth-side, with his mother and father, Jess and Jordan. It is an unimaginable...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/friend-perspective-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7888747e238b0b8ae35687</guid><pubDate>Mon, 06 Jul 2026 07:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_c985dbadb8d840c694b73247b2497696~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Guest writer</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Grieving with your Partner]]></title><description><![CDATA[At our house, our wedding vows are framed in our bedroom above our nightstands. On my side are the commitments that Jordan made to me that sunny August 2022 afternoon. On his are the promises I made to him. In Jordan’s vows, he said that at every turn in our relationship, we’ve come out stronger, closer, more deeply in love and with stronger trust in each other. He promised to trust me when times are tough and celebrate with me when times are golden. In mine, I promised to support and uplift...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/grieving-with-your-partner-after-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e86f33e0c16484ff6ed6f</guid><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2026 23:55:57 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_4f273411c6a24192847b9362f4ae7889~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[How Our Village Showed Up]]></title><description><![CDATA[Our village mobilized after we sent the update that Nathan had died. Some members of our extended family were especially shocked. They had not known that Nathan had been born and were still preparing to attend my baby shower. They learned about his arrival and death at the same time. One cousin sent an email almost immediately. I do not remember every word people sent in those first hours, but I remember the feelings of receiving them, and her note made me feel a sense of reverence and...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/village-after-pregnancy-infant-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e86292aa0dd3fa16620f4</guid><pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2026 23:51:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_42b952c89ef04c1bb5449424f8efdf3c~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Media]]></title><description><![CDATA[My algorithms knew that I was pregnant. My searches were about pregnancy symptoms, baby names, baby clothes and raising babies. ChatGPT was doing research for me on baby gear and comparisons. Pinterest categorized my saved baby-shower themes, first-birthday ideas, nursery inspiration, and plans for when we would take our baby to Hawaii at six months old.]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/media-algorithms-after-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e82823e0c16484ff6e2e6</guid><pubDate>Tue, 16 Jun 2026 23:36:48 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_637666765f687872302d4d~mv2_d_5472_3648_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[My Body]]></title><description><![CDATA[I loved being pregnant, and I know how fortunate I am to be able to say that. We had a straightforward fertility journey, and whatever mild annoyance I felt over the cycles it took disappeared as soon as I saw the positive test. I was in good shape prior to getting pregnant: mentally, physically, emotionally, and environmentally in the life and home we had built around us. I worked remotely, had routines at home and in the gym, and knew we were in a good financial and physical space to raise...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/relationship-with-my-body-after-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e81da879f0041e506086a</guid><pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2026 23:32:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_93a1d669555541c49d9d118389ac1eda~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[My Return to Work: Part 1]]></title><description><![CDATA[Most of us know enough to draw boundaries around work and the cliches that describe how it’s “like a family”. Yet, it dawned on me that when you experience a loss, one of the strange and immediate realities is that after your family and friends, your workplace is often one of the first places entrusted with your personal news. We tell our workplaces for practical reasons. But we also trust our employers, bosses, and teams at the most vulnerable, broken times in our lives, and expect that they...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/return-to-work-baby-loss-part-1</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e88823e0c16484ff6f130</guid><pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2026 00:02:37 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_b04e6ac268ef47549503ed87a3be72fb~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[My Return to Work: Part 2]]></title><description><![CDATA[My original plan was to go back to work and not take any customer meetings at first. I watched how Jordan eased back in; he started with internal meetings, gradually increasing how many he could handle each week. We talked about how difficult it would feel to get out of our bubble of early grief and back into the real world, feeling our way through and learning how to live in a new normal. I wasn’t sure how I would fare back at work, though thankfully my workplace was still in the comfort of...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/return-to-work-baby-loss-part-2</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a727c4c2df0f1eeb2f44c06</guid><pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2026 23:59:34 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_cdb159259137426da3e8c73a61938b3d~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Perfect Timing]]></title><description><![CDATA[I love a birthday. I was one of those women who counted backwards, wondering what month would be best to try for a baby so they would have a good birthday. I’m a planner, after all, and I got lots of validating input for this particular neurosis: “Having a birthday anytime after mid-June is so tough because they will be out of school and their friends won’t be able to come to their birthday parties!” “Think about the advantage they’d have in sports if they’re the oldest kid in their class.”...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/perfect-timing</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e80eb3e0c16484ff6df12</guid><pubDate>Tue, 19 May 2026 23:28:59 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_c6788c68062444da8c0834bc568bdd45~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Planning Your Baby's Funeral]]></title><description><![CDATA[How do you plan a funeral for your baby? No one wants to think about what to do with your baby’s body after they pass away. It’s an impossible, nausea-inducing, unimaginable task. And yet, it has to be done. Holding Nathan in my arms in the NICU, moments after he died, I was asked by our social worker what funeral home we wanted to use. I mumbled the name of the cemetery that I knew of because we’ve had so much loss over the past few years, and that’s where everyone else in our family is....]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/planning-funeral-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e86a42aa0dd3fa166225f</guid><pubDate>Tue, 12 May 2026 23:52:49 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d8b91ec474404d93a7be5aefff9abd54.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Postpartum without your Baby]]></title><description><![CDATA[While I was still pregnant, I heard different warnings about postpartum. Approaching 31 weeks, I started reading a little bit, but didn’t want to go too deep… after all, I still had time! The first thing I remember about postpartum is how my feet immediately swelled to a comical amount. The straps of my usually loose, wide Birkenstocks were so tight that they were making marks on my feet as I took them on and off. Jordan and I laughed and laughed. The next thing that I remember is my midwife...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/postpartum-without-your-baby</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e87a23e0c16484ff6ef2e</guid><pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2026 23:56:48 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_48374c7876456d565a6e45~mv2_d_5184_3456_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Strollers]]></title><description><![CDATA[I used to check out strollers. They’d catch my eye while I was driving by, and as a passenger, I’d have more time to crane my neck to guess the make and model. Sometimes, I’d check out who was pushing the stroller too.  Someone older, perhaps a grandparent giving the baby’s mom and dad a bit of a break. I would picture my parents wheeling our baby, their first grandchild, around the block after Sunday breakfast. A ballcap-and-T-shirt-wearing dad who would make me think of Jordan taking our...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/strollers</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e7a502aa0dd3fa166049b</guid><pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2026 23:25:33 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_8e463d1382a74cc5a126ead8683f4483~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Year of Babies]]></title><description><![CDATA[2026 was the year of the baby in my group of friends. I knew of a baby due to be born every month from March 2026 to November 2026, with mine due in June. Alongside my week-by-week countdown, I was acutely aware of my own journey because all of my pregnant friends were reaching milestones with me at different times, depending on when their babies were due. Someone was always a little further ahead, moving through the same stage, or just behind me so we could share what to expect. During...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/friendships-after-baby-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e83d93e0c16484ff6e60d</guid><pubDate>Tue, 21 Apr 2026 23:41:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_75d20cca0492459896a9bfb3daa4f997~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What We Needed in the First Days]]></title><description><![CDATA[Looking back, I can see how important it was to tell the people around us how to interact with us in those first days post-loss. We feel so grateful to have had our loved ones on standby for what we needed, but it wasn’t without boundary-setting and clear communication. It’s really difficult in grief to be able to verbalize what you need, especially as the depth of pain and weight of what you’re going through changes moment by moment. Still, we did it to the extent that we could to allow...]]></description><link>https://www.calmhearted.ca/post/first-days-after-pregnancy-infant-loss</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a6e85bb2aa0dd3fa1661fff</guid><pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2026 23:49:39 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_6945396b3336546c526d49~mv2_d_5184_3456_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jess, Nathan&apos;s Mom</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>